Impossible Is A Tricky Word
by Onyx And Co
Summary: Every Naruto fan dreams about meeting his/her Naruto idols- the real ones. But that's just fantasy. What happens when those dreams come true? Throw in some deranged teenagers, an amnesic Sasuke and chavvy!Akatsuki and whaddya get? Complete chaos.
1. Headbutt

'**Impossible' Is A Tricky Word**

(A pointless, plotless Naruto AU-ish story by Onyx)

**A.N.****:** Hi. You know I hate ANs, so I'll try to make this short.

So this is a story my cousin Lex almost begged me to write. She suddenly started liking Naruto again. (She had a period when she hated it--- which I completely agree with. I mean, it shouldn't even be called Naruto anymore. It should be called Psycho Emo Avenger Freaky Snobby Bastard Chronicles. Oh yeh, I bet you have no idea who I'm talking about.) And yeah, she made me write a story in which some of the characters get teleported in our universe.

… Don't get me wrong, _I completely hate this type of stories. _

But I love my cousin, so...yeah. And BTW, before you ask, no pairings. (Lex: WHAT? T.T) NO people! As much as I love Suigetsu (Eheh… -drool-) just… **NO.**

Lex: Wha? You hypocrite! Go away, I'm writing this from now on. -shuffling-

-they start fighting-

.

.

.

Whoopsies, long AN. Bad Onyx, bad.

I gotta say two more things. First, this chapter is about us. And second, since it's about us, we talk in Romanian. I translated the dialogue into English, but keep that in mind though.

Disclaimer: Dun own. (Let's pretend I do_. _Oooh, shit happens.)

* * *

"No."

"Whaddya mean no?"

"No."

Whine.

"No!"

Pout.

"Nooo…"

Smirk.

"…Piss off."

Exasperated scream. "Oana, please. I have to make that stupid whatever-it-is project 'till tomorrow. I don't have any materials, and you're the only one who understands any chemistry in this whole freaking family!"

"I dun have any fuckin' money either, and I'm startin' to go down with that shit eating chemistry since we started the… the… what are those called?"

"You're such an ignorant, insensitive, heartless, ungrateful, foul-mouthed prick."

"…"

* * *

"Why are we here, again?"

Lex smiled. Pointing out such flaws always worked with Oana. But then she would become grumpy. Her smile dropped, and she let out a sigh. "We're here to buy the necessary ingredients, since 'La Dioda' ("Diode's") is the only shop in Constanta which sells, umm… physics and chemistry thingies. Yeah."

Oana rolled her eyes. "Do you even know what to buy?"

"Well, yeah. I got a list from the old hag. Her writing is intelligible, though. Hope the shopkeeper will understand." She nervously scratched the back of her head.

"Fine, but… after that, we're going to Mega Image. I want food. You pay."

"Hehe, ok." Lex left out the fact that she was paying for all the stuff using Oana's wallet.

* * *

They made their way to the supermarket, walking on the paved road which was crowded with people running in every direction, most of them carrying huge shopping bags.

"What's happening?" Lex made a confused, yet annoyed face when somebody stepped on her foot.

"…Low prices?"

They entered the supermarket through the big doors, wincing at the noise and disarray which they both hated. The main hall of the shop was completely crowded, so they picked a smaller one, which was filled with junk food, a.k.a. what they wanted to buy. Lex looked on her left and noticed some big stacks of tin cans, and she laughed at them, thinking about knocking them off.

She looked back and… well, if anyone would be looking at her right now, they could probably read the 'WTF' written on her face. Lex huffed. Where the heck was her cousin? She looked in every direction, but couldn't find Oana anywhere. She sighed, her cousin was usually abnormally slow, due to her lazy nature. How did she manage to run off like that? Oh well. She started running through an empty hallway, completely serious about knocking off Alphonse… -cough- tin cans. She sped up…

PLONK!! 'Drat. I just head-butted…', she looked up, 'Naruto?'

* * *

A.N.: Yeah, I know this is inconceivably short, but I had to end it with a cliffhanger. –smirks-

Lex: Why?

Onyx: …

I'm not asking you to review. I don't even deserve it. -dies-


	2. Awesomeness Can Be Deadly

A.N.: Okay, my head hurts like hell, and I'm listening to New Divide.

Lex: Well, _that_'s nasty.

Onyx: Have you even heard of somebody who can calm down while listening to heavy metal? Not that New Divide is that heavy, but still…

Lex: … -.-

Onyx: Now you do. :D

Okay, the REAL story starts here. The last chapter was a complete waste of time, but I'm inclined to believe it's more like a prologue. Oh, whatever.

**BTW time.**

Most of this chapter has been dictated to me by Lex. I'm not a masochist. -.-

"_text_" - thoughts

"(text)" - side glances made by the author or the character, **in this chapter I also wrote our dialogue in Romanian, and the text put into brackets is the translation.** I bet you couldn't figure that one out.

"(_text_)" - Lex and Onyx being... Lex and Onyx.

* * *

Recap: Lex ran headfirst into Naruto. (All hail Oana, the Goddess of Recaps.)

* * *

**Lex's P.O.V.**

Aw, my head hurts. I just head butted Naruto. Whoopdie-doo.

"Hey, te deranjeaza daca ma ajuti putin? Nu-i vina mea ca ai cap de pepene… (Hey, would you mind helping me a bit ? Not my fault you got a big ass head…)" I said, grunting. My head really hurt, but this guy didn't seem like having any problem. Wait, scratch that. Now he looks like I'm speaking Russian.

"W-well, I…"

"Happy birthday."

I whirled around, and came, as expected, face-to-face with Oana. "Unde erai?!? (Where have you been?!)"

"Am platit ce aveam de platit, inteligento. (I payed for our stuff, smartass.)"

"A, ma rog… Nu e ziua mea. (Oh, whatever… and it's not my birthday.)"

"Nu vorbeam cu tine. (I wasn't talking to you.)"

"Were you talking to ME?" The Naruto guy said, perplexed. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

I was still on the ground, my head darting back and forth to look at Naruto, then at Oana. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I'm a little bit slow-minded, ya know. First of all, what in the world was a cosplayer doing in Mega Image? Second, he was speaking English. I can't imagine a cosplayer _that good _(he really resembled Naruto) having any business in our shithole of a country. I grunted, feeling the bump on my forehead, and looked at Oana.

She stood completely still, blinking now and then, but confusion was obvious in her eyes. My mouth widened in a lop-sided grin, and I suddenly jumped up, one of my fingers pointing at her. I mean, like, the witch is actually bemused. For real, I mean. My cousin can be pretty idiotic, but she's never that confused. 'Cos, it's like, nothing really sparks her interest. Boring prick. And she thinks she's Buddha Junior. I hope she dies with all her witty genius shoved up her ass. (_Oana: Gee, thanks Lex. -.- Lex: Don't mention it_.) Oh, shoot. The witch is about to talk. Man, I really hate it when people understand what's going on and I don't.

"Naruto Databook."

Um, yeah. Nevermind.

"You know my name!! Who the hell are you? Wait, are you from Akatsuki??"

WTF??

"Yeah."

I gulped, and looked up at Oana, and noticed one corner of her mouth was slightly tilted upwards. (_Oana: Okay, seriously, you're turning me into Sasuke. Lex: …So? Shut up and write what I say_.) Time for me to jump into action. Although I didn't quite have an actual plan.

"Hey, you, you have a nice costume." I settled on English, since it was obvious this guy was an outsider. I saw Oana slapping her forehead, and chuckled happily, knowing I had disrupted her plans.

"H-huh?" Okay, this really couldn't get any more confusing.

"Make a rasengan." Oana said, bored. I knew she wasn't really bored. She wanted to understand what was going on as much as I did.

"Here? Are you crazy?" The guy spluttered.

I frowned. This kid really wanted us to believe he can make a rasengan, or what? I looked at Oana, and she was looking back at me with a slightly amused expression. "Fine then, let's take this outside." I said.

We made our way through the mass of noisy people, and exited through the same big ass doors which, I admit, I kinda liked. I mean, it's funny to confuse the system by going in and out, and also annoying the people which tried to enter or exit the supermarket. The cosplayer seemed to like them as much as I did, staring at them in awe, then regaining his composure when he noticed we were looking at him. He then took in the surroundings, an impossibly confused frown taking over his face. I took advantage of this to talk to Oana.

"Ai idee ce se intampla? (Got any ideas?)" I whispered, though I knew it wasn't necessary.

Her eyes narrowed. "Nu. Poate ca un portal inter-stelar a decis sa se deschida si sa ii aduca pe astia din Naruto la noi in oras. (No. Maybe an inter-stellar portal decided to open and bring the Naruto world in our town.)"

I grinned at my cousin's bluntness and thought a bit about it. "Da. Poate ca asta e. (Yeah. Maybe that's it.)" I shoved my hands into my pockets, not wanting to show how much this actually unnerved me. I saw Oana placing her hands at the back of her head in a casual gesture, but I knew she only did that when she wanted to think.

Naruto was warily following us when I decided to give him a bit of attention. "Hey, how about we go into a small park and you show us your technique there?"

"Okay," he said, a bit unsure. I knew he didn't trust us, just as we didn't trust him. Oana looked at me, as if questioning my plan. I nodded my head in the small park's direction, and wandered there, Oana and Naruto closely following.

When we reached it I immediately settled on the grass, Oana alongside me. I couldn't lie down completely, because my long hair gets dirty quickly, and it's a pain in the ass to wash it every time me and Oana go out. (Oana: Oana and _I. _:D Lex: Haha, Naruto Abridged. XD) This is one of our favourite activities, and it's funny, because it kinda remembers me about Shikamaru and Chouji. Okay, it's not that funny, because I'd take Chouji's role. Damn.

Naruto was standing a foot away from us, seemingly waiting for an explanation. I heard Oana sigh, and I motioned for him to do his job, mimicking his movements when he made rasengan. He narrowed his eyes and pointed to us. "You said you're from the Akatsuki! Why should I trust you?" He said loudly. Thank god we were in a secluded place.

"We're not from the Akatsuki. Oana's being an idiot," I said, rolling my eyes "now will you show us the technique or not?"

Naruto put one hand on top of his head, while the other one was supporting his hip. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. "Well, I'm not so sure about that… Akatsuki or not, I can't just go around showing off my super awesome technique! Err…"

I grabbed my head in distress and looked pleadingly to Oana. She was far better at smooth talking than I was. She caught my stare and her eyes glinted. That really scares me sometimes.

"Y'seem pretty positive 'bout it," Oana said, raising her eyebrow (which also scares me) in a sardonic gesture, "so why not show it off?"

Naruto frowned. "I know it's awesome, but… I can't show it to you!"

"ORLY?" Oana's catchphrase.

"Really! Err… I…"

"Y'know what? I believe you're not sure if yo' technique is as awesome as ya think… Are ya afraid that we won't be very impressed?" Oana sluggishly spoke, as she usually did when she didn't mean her words.

"What? Oh, screw it, I'm gonna show you my rasengan in all it's awesomeness!!" Naruto confidently planted his feet in the ground and brought his hands close to each other, as if holding a ball. His teeth clenched and a gush of wind hit us all, while the space between Naruto's hands was casually filling with a blue, gaseous substance. The substance frizzled and shifted as the wind blew, slowly but surely taking a round shape. Naruto deliberately made it slow, noticing the silence that engulfed the small park. The small, blue ball in Naruto's hands made a faint, dull noise, like the wind blowing through a dense forest.

And then I fainted.

* * *

Yay, chapter done. 1,656 words, this is so UBELIEVABLE, EVEN NARUTO CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Ahem.

Naruto: -head pokes from behind the door- What?

Lex: Nothing. BTW people, I deserve a review, 'cos I created all this. Onyx just wrote it. *3*

Onyx: Whatever, I'm not asking you guys to review. Nu-uh. I know it's a pain in the ass… No, I'm not going to ask you.

Lex: You're _not_ speaking sluggishly… XD

Onyx: … **¬///¬. **


	3. Whoopsies, The Power Ran Out

Onyx: I made it to chapter three, huzzah, gimme cookies.

Lex: Yeah, that's becuz _I _wrote the last one. Which was also the longest chapter even posted on the Onyx And Co. account, I gotta add.

Onyx: … Cookie? X3

Lex: -snorts-

**BTW time.**

If you hadn't noticed, Naruto's 15 in this story. It was his birthday yesterday, and according to the Naruto Databook he was born in 1994, and that makes him 15. Yay!

**-EDIT- I GOT A REVIEW PEOPLE! A R-E-V-I-E-W! And also two alerts. Gee, I LOVE YOU GUYS. Double thank-you to Azelf1717, for both reviewing and alerting my story. -hugs-**

* * *

**Oana's P.O.V.**  
(I just discovered that it's much easier to write a story from somebody's point of view. Sue me.)

Silence. Damn, I hate silence, 'cos it's just, so loud. Y'know, it's like your brain is buzzing, and since there's no other source of noise, you hear that buzzing like it just increased tenfold. Oh, ya know what I'm talking about! Don't deny it, even if it makes you sound a bit psychotic. Oh, and the heart. Man, I feel like my heart suddenly made a bee line to my ears and settled there.

Well, my heart and brain are surely making lotsa noise right now. My heart is thumping as if it would like to jump out (of my ears, mind you) after I've just witnessed. I don't know if it was a special effect or not, and frankly, I don't care. It still managed to impress my unimpressed ass. Or rather, scare it. 'N that's why my brain started buzzing. It's not like it wasn't buzzing before, 'cos, dude, it buzzes since I was born, but now it's buzzing even more. And it kinda affects my thinking. See? I don't even know what I'm talking about.

I guess the reason of my brain's loud buzzing is my frantic attempt to comprehend what just happened. I'm usually a quick thinker. The fact that I can't understand the given situation kinda pisses me off, and it adds up to the attempts at understanding, creating even more stress. Ugh. Y'know, sometimes I believe that complicated minds do not help at anything at all, except maybe maths. Where I, ironically enough, suck hard. The only thing I can do is comprehend and interpret different situations. In maths, for example, I do understand the theory, but that doesn't mean I know how to apply it. Yeah, I have a complicated mind like that.

* * *

**Lex's P.O.V.**  
(Lex: Yatta!)

I kept silent, since it was the only rational thing to do. However, my brain was a mess. Not only it screamed 'Do something!' in my face, but it also kinda thought on its own, as jacked as that sounds. I looked at Oana, and she seemed to have an internal battle with herself. Normally, I would have laughed at her and her complicated mind, but now I couldn't get myself to move a muscle. My eyes darted back to Naruto, who looked perplexed at our perplexity. Gah, I can't even think now, so why do I bother? I'll leave the thinking part to Oana. I shakily stood up, ignoring my legs' protests, and… I stood there, dumbfounded.

Naruto raised a hand towards me, but I quickly stepped back, avoiding it. He frowned, obviously thinking that our wariness had something to do with him.

"Well, heh… was my technique really that awesome?" He smiled, trying to ease the atmosphere. I tried to smile, but I'm positive it came out as a crooked snarl. Naruto's bemused expression confirmed my thoughts. I couldn't say anything. It was like his freaking rasengan stole my ability to speak. I looked at Oana. She was looking pretty dejected too.

"So, um, hey guys. Can you help me a little bit? I think I'm lost…" Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. The moment he said those words, my brain circuit started working again, and I felt a wave of energy course through me.

"_G-guys_…?!" I said, my left eye twitching madly, a dark, stormy aura surrounding me. What the hell, people? Do we look that manly? We are two girls! Okay, so it's autumn, and our clothes are pretty thick and baggy, but I have long hair, so WTF? It's Oana's tousled hair's fault, really. _Humph._

Naruto held up his hands, in a regretful gesture. "Um, sorry if I said something wrong… So, um, can you help me? And is that boy behind you okay? He looks a bit despondent…"

Ha, _big word_, Naruto. I never thought your brain can put up with such words. Wait, that _boy_? Ahahahah! I started laughing madly, holding my sides, and almost falling to the ground in the process. I looked up and I could see three awkward dots above Naruto's head, while a crow flew high in the sky, croaking out something which sounded like 'Aho!'. The three dots appeared also above my head, and it seemed like Naruto noticed them, because his dots became more prominent. We stood there, staring at each other, engaging in a dot fight, but I gave up because I sensed a shifting near my leg. I looked down.

As expected, there stood Oana, one of her white hands clutching my leg. Her face was a sick yellow and drool was coming out of her mouth, and I deduced her complicated ass mind wasn't in its best shape. I held out a hand and pulled her to her feet, which was pretty hard considering she was half foot taller than me. Not that I was short or skinny, but she had a tall, broad figure due to basketball. Damn basketball. Why didn't I try basketball instead of fencing? _Damn basketball_.

"So, what's up with you?" I asked Oana, trying to sound casual, however a slight shiver betrayed my fright. "Can you… I mean, do you know…" I mumbled, but couldn't find the right words to finish the question. She seemed to understand what I wanted to know. Argh, damn her.

"Too much thinking has overcooked my brain…" As if on cue, Oana's face went blank, her hair stood up as if electrocuted and I heard a frizzle, like the power in a house has just run out. I swear I could see small flows of electric current through her strands of hair, producing a magnetic field and making it even more rumpled than before. Yay, me suck at physics. Me genius.

"GUYS?!"

Oh right, how could I forget about Naruto? I looked at him, and he was exasperatedly pulling at his hair, completely unnerved by our behaviour.

"Umm, hey Naruto, why don't you… come with us, and we'll talk."

His eyes squinted, completely not buying what I said. "Wheeere?"

"At our house, duh."

"And…?"

"And we'll talk there. C'mon, we have ramen."

"Yatta!"

* * *

1,211. Yay, aren't I great.

Lex: Still couldn't beat me!

Onyx: And you see me caring?

Naruto: … Ramen?

Onyx: Doncha mean 'review'? Oh yea, wait, I'm not s'possed to ask you that. Damn.

Lex: Well I am. REVIEW PEOPLE COS IF YOU DON'T IM GUNNAH…

Onyx: You're supposed to be polite if you really want a review, and that's not even a question.

Lex: Says the foul-mouthed prick.

Onyx: #$%*%!^# you.


	4. New Threat, Or Rather Threats

Onyx: Wow, chapter four. WAIT, THIS IS A SPECIAL OCCASION.

Lex: …Why?

Onyx: I've never written a chapter four. Never ever in my whole life.

Lex: Well, you see, it's a good thing I made you write this story. ^.~

Soacra-Mea (1): Whoopdie doo! Hello there! -kisses air-

Lex: OH NO. WHAT THE CRAP ARE _YOU _DOING HERE?!?

Onyx: Heh. -smirks-

Lex: YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE?

Onyx: Nooo…

Soacra-Mea: Ooh, my dear, dear Alexandré (That's not Lex's actual name, Soacra-Mea is just that stupid.), I do believe I'm here as a muse! -sparkle- -sparkle-

Lex: OH NO, YOU AREN'T! GET OUT OF HERE UNTIL I DISINTEGRATE YOU. -starts chasing Soacra-Mea with a broom-

Onyx: I think I have something to explain. You see, this being such a special day, I decided to get myself a _**muse**_. And what better muse other than my **yellow plush rabbit** called **_Soacra-Mea_**? :D

(1) – Soacra-Mea is a Romanian title which is held by the bridegroom's mother. Yes, that's right. Also, 'mea' is a pronoun meaning 'mine', or rather 'my'. So the rabbit's name sounds like this in English: My Husband's Mother. If you wanna know the pronunciation, it's in my profile.

Oh yeah, and the rabbit is male. Dude, I love him. Lex doesn't. They can't stand each other. That's because Lex fell in love with him when she first saw him and wanted to take him home with her. I was ok with that but Soacra-Mea wasn't, and they're at war since then.

Yay.

Since this chapter is _so _special, I'll try to make it longer, and also **Maria** comes into the picture, 'cos she wants to. Yeah. -.-

(**BTW time**. Don't forget that the dialogue between Onyx and Lex is STILL in Romanian, but it's too much of a pain in the ass to write all that. But keep it in mind!!)

* * *

Recap:

"_Umm, hey Naruto, why don't you… come with us, and we'll talk."_

_His eyes squinted, completely not buying what I said. "Wheeere?"_

"_At our house, duh."_

"_And…?"_

"_And we'll talk there. C'mon, we have ramen."_

"_Yatta!"_

* * *

**Normal P.O.V.  
**(Kinda like Naruto's P.O.V., but in third person.)

They arrived at the apartment Onyx and Lex shared (_Onyx: I'll find an explanation for that later_. _-Lex rolls her eyes_-) and they were currently standing in the doorway, waiting for Oana to find the keys.

"How many times did I tell you not to give them to _me_?" She said, obviously irritated.

"Well… a lot of times! But still, I'm even worse, so shut up."

Oana raised a trademark sardonic eyebrow, and her eyes glinted. She knew Lex didn't like it, and it was the best way to get her to shut up.

Lex rolled her eyes, letting them fall on one of Oana's pockets. "Damn, those pants have a lot of pockets. Check there." She pointed to the pocket which had previously caught her attention. "Oh, shoot." Oana raised the two fingers holding the keys, and Lex grinned triumphantly.

Meanwhile, Naruto was watching them both weirdly. '_Why did I agree to come with them? Their reaction to my rasengan was suspicious. I didn't even put much effort into it. Could it be… maybe they are so impressed with my skills they consider me a divinity!_' Naruto thought happily. Then again, they gave him a lot of ugly stares, so he shouldn't be so sure. Naruto sighed in distress.

Lex skipped inside, motioning for Naruto to come in, and she almost shut the door in Oana's face if a something didn't stop the door from moving. Lex looked down and was greeted with the sight of Oana's dirty, worn out black Vans. "Dude, you should really wash those."

Naruto turned and gave them a funny look. _There they go again with their tribal incantations._ He rubbed his temples and looked around, and wished he didn't.

In the hallway stood a broken shelf, with various articles hanging on it like backpacks, umbrellas, coats, cloaks and so on. The ground was dotted with numerous pairs of sneakers and shoes, two more backpacks, some clothes and _dirt._ The _dirt _consisted of papers, broken things, abandoned food, solidified mud and an object Naruto couldn't name. It looked like a stick with three other sticks coming from one end, much like a trident. (A fork, guyz.) All in all, it was far from neat. Then again, he wasn't the one to talk. His apartment didn't look any better.

"Ahem. Come into the living room, and we'll talk there." He assumed they were talking to him, because if they would be talking to each other, they'd talk in their foreign oompa-loompish. (Woah, great analogy, Naruto, we congratulate you.)

They all entered the big room, which was way neater than the hallway. Lex immediately sat down on a weirdly shaped chair which seemed to be made to fit her and her alone. The chair looked like an egg cut in half and separated from the yolk, and Naruto wondered how someone could be comfortable in such a spine-breaking chair. Oana plopped down on the couch, with her feet flung over it. The couch resembled a bed, since it was very long (Naruto guessed it was extendable) so he went over and sat as far from Oana as he could.

"So, err…"

The dark haired girl's voice trembled a bit, as if she was unsure what to say. Naruto guessed her name was Lex.

"Hey, all I want to know is why you are so interested in the rasengan, and why you brought me here." He said, trying to sound confident, and failing.

"It's a long story." Oana's harsh, scratchy voice echoed through the room. At first Naruto thought she was angry at him, but there was no angry undertone in her statement. He guessed her voice was usually this rough. "You see," she continued, "we weren't actually… expecting you to be able to create a Rasengan."

Naruto instantly perked up. "What do you mean? That I'm not good enough to-..."

"That's not what I meant." she said, trying to sound soft. "I mean, we never imagined we'd witness a Rasengan. For us, it's not natural."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Let me finish." She said, narrowing her eyes. "I actually believe you're here by accident. You _shouldn't _be here. It's not your _world_, Naruto." Naruto's eyes widened. "Do you remember anything before waking up in that shop, or somewhere in this town? Something must have happened, because you don't belong here. In our world, there aren't any ninjas, and there's nobody who possesses chakra. Do you understand? You're, like… in a parallel universe, I think."

Naruto blinked. And blinked. And blinked again.

"Nope, he doesn't understand." Lex said in English, chuckling. Oana sighed. "Well, it's the best explanation I can come up with." She said, also in English.

Naruto's mind slowly started to process the information. It was too much and too complex for Naruto to fully understand, but he grasped the main idea. The girls became aware of that when they saw his reaction.

"WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!??!"

* * *

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

Okay, calm down Naruto. This is not happening, no. This is _so _not happening. These girls are actually telling me that I've been teleported into their non-ninja world. In fact, what the heck is that? A non-ninja world? Yeeah, good one. I can see through your traps, you evil witches.

I stood up and went to the door, deciding to leave their house and explore this weird village on my own, since they didn't want to help me. I could hear their protests from the living room, but I ignored them and opened the main door, intending to go outside. Just as I did that, a speedy thing on four wheels screeched and stopped right in front of the house, music blaring trough its windows. The music stopped and a piece of the strange machinery detached, to reveal a punk-looking girl. She exited the machine and her blue eyes met mine. She stared at me, and then…

"NARUTO! O.O"

She ran up to me, examining me from head to toe, her eyes sparkling in an unnerving way. Then she pointed a finger at me. "Nice costume." She said, surprisingly in English. I could sense the presence of the two other girls behind me, and looked back only to see them making frantic gestures to the blonde punk girl in front of me. I looked back at her and caught her confused stare. Oh no. Don't tell me this girl believed all that crap from earlier, too!?

"Make a Shadow Clone." She commanded me. Her tone was demanding, so I found myself raising my hands, forming the Shadow Clone Jutsu seals. Immediately, a clone appeared beside me. The blonde girl analyzed my clone, and then looked back at me.

"NARUTO! O.O" She exclaimed once again, then happily pulled me into a bear-like hug. I tried to escape her vice grip, but my efforts proved to be in vain. Ha, and they told me there aren't any ninjas around here! I mean, come on, this girl had inhuman strength. She remembered me a bit of Sakura-chan… The girl seemed to sense my last thought, for she released me immediately, giving me a very dirty look. I gave her a confused one.

"So, um, what's going on and how did you manage to bring Naruto here?" She uttered out some incantations, which I was already starting to dread, and I felt the girls behind me shrug. Then the blonde girl yanked my shoulder, dragging me back into the house. _NOOOO!_ I shouted into my mind. I just wanted to go home and have some ramen. Was that so bad?

She pulled me on the big couch, and I received a grunt from Oana, because the insane blonde girl actually shoved me on Oana's legs. I muttered a 'sorry' towards her. Then the blonde settled beside me, giving me a big grin which resembled my own.

"Uh, what do _you _want from me?" I said to her, and she just shrugged, shuffling through her torn, pin-adorned backpack. She pulled out a book, and shoved it into my face.

"I suppose you don't understand what's going on." She said. I nodded. "Look, this is you." She showed me the cover. She had an XD look on her face. I looked at the cover and… IT WAS ME! Okay, a drawing of myself, but still, IT WAS ME! Where in the world did she get that? She opened it and showed me the pictures. I studied them intently, and they resembled a fight I had when I was twelve. What the hell? The drawing showed my fight with Neji from the chunnin exams!! How did this people know my fight so good! And look, there were also some balloons over our heads, as if we were saying something, and I tried to read… I couldn't understand a word. I was written in weird signs.

"But… I can't understand what they're talking about."

"How come? I can't understand in either! _You_'re the one who speaks Japanese!"

"…You don't speak Japanese?"

"No! Do I look Japanese to you?"

"…Then, how the hell can you understand me?!"

"Well, you're speaking English. Like me."

"…Shouldn't I be speaking Japanese?"

"… Argh, hell. Forget it."

We look at each other awkwardly, then suddenly Oana burst out laughing. I jumped; not because of her creaky, psychotic, Orochimaru-like laugh, but rather because I didn't expect _her _(yeah, I noticed she was a girl) of all people to randomly laugh like that. Then I understood what was she laughing at, and we (me, Lex and the blonde girl) all burst out laughing at the same time. To my left, Lex-chan (whoa, when did I start calling her 'chan'?) was wiping her tears, laughing madly. These evil witches weren't that evil, after all.

When I calmed down, I took the book from the blonde girl and started skimming through it. "Here you tell Neji that you failed the graduation exam three times." She said, smiling, and pointed to a picture of myself standing next to a beaten up Neji. That's right, I did say that! I looked at her curiously, but her smiling face diddn't show any sign of mock. So maybe I really am in another world…

* * *

**Still Naruto's P.O.V.**

"Okay guys, I'm going to cook! What would you like to eat?" The blonde girl, who was called Mary from what I learnt, announced loudly from the kitchen. I immediately shouted the expected response. "RAMEN!"

Lex, who was attempting to clean up the hallway, laughed at me. "You know, Naruto… we don't actually have any ramen."

"Whaat? B-but…! You said…!"

"I know, I know… That was just a bribe." She said, smiling. "I'm sorry, but this food you usually eat is part of the Asian Cuisine. We're on the other side of the globe; we don't have that type of food." She said, scratching the back of her head.

"Oh, come on…" I said, "Not even rice balls?"

"Nope… I would like to try that, though…" She said, more like talking to herself.

"Aww… but what do you actually eat if you don't even have rice balls?!"

Oana stepped in, wearing some big ass pants that almost swept the floor in their path. "How about we order some pizza?"

Mary seemed to hear her, and I couldn't understand what she shouted back as usual, but she didn't sound pleased. "I said I'm cooking, so no ordering! And I can't cook pizza like in an actual pizzeria, so no pizza!"

"Well, Mary, do you think Asians who come to Europe can get accustomed to our food that easily? I think we should start with something light… that's why I suggested pizza. Y'know?"

"Urgh, fine." Mary said, and stomped into the living room, cooking spoon still in hand, and grabbed the telephone (although Naruto doesn't know what a telephone is, mind you), dialing a number.

"So um, what should we do? Naruto, are you staying here for the night?" I looked in Lex's direction since she had talked in what they called English, and shrugged.

"Yeah, I think that's the best idea. I don't want to know what'll happen if any more people would find out about Naruto. Y'know, Naru (I frowned at the nickname), you're lucky we're not the type of people who would sell you to the mass media." Oana said. The corner of her mouth twitched upward, forming a smirk. I found her extended usage of those gestures really funny, it was her way to express herself. Who would have thought that you could express yourself using only the corners of your mouth?! I tried doing it for a short time, but my mouth contorted into something which made me resemble a grumpy old man, or a fish. Oana noticed me, and started laughing at my antics. The creaky laugh didn't bother me anymore, so I laughed with her.

Lex came to us, and we all went upstairs to decide who slept where, while Mary was downstairs, arguing with the pizza boy over the phone. "No, I said NO! I'm hungry and I want that pizza in LESS than 20 minutes, I don't CARE you have other orders…" The sound of her shrill voice dulled, and all I could hear was the creaking of the parquet. Pretty sinister, if you ask me.

Lex opened the door of a small room which contained one bed, one wardrobe, a _washing machine _(which Naruto doesn't know about either, BTW), a few stacks of clean sheets and pillows, laundry, and there was another door which led to a small balcony. "Erm… this is where we keep the washing machine and the laundry because the bathroom is too small…" She said awkwardly.

"A washing machine is for washing clothes, Naruto." Oana said, amused. I nodded in understanding.

"Hey, get out while I clean this room, 'cos if I don't there won't be any place for Naruto to sleep…" Lex shooed us out.

We went down the stairs, but didn't even reach the first floor when we heard a scream.

* * *

**Lex's P.O.V.**

Okay, since Oana isn't capable of _cleaning up_, I assumed that role. I shooed Naruto and Oana out, intending to move our laundry and other stacked thing into another room, or maybe the living room.

I made my way through the mass of dirty clothes on the floor, waiting to be washed, and started the washing machine, since it was already filled with clothes. I sighed; Oana and I weren't actually the neatest persons alive, we were far from it. Oana is extremely lazy and hates work, while I am simply a pig. The result? The dirtiest home in the whole world. _We should get a prize, really._

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the banging coming from the washing machine at first. Extremely curious, I made my way to the washing machine, thankful the noises weren't coming from the wardrobe. ('Cos yanno, I have a fear of wardrobes. When I was five a saw a horror movie in which a monster comes out of the wardrobe and… yeah. You get the idea. Now I'm scared for life.) I didn't even get close, when suddenly it blasted open. I couldn't stop the scream that made its way out of my throat.

* * *

Soacra-Mea: This is a really special day, my dear friends. I do believe it should be noted in the calendar. Such achievements are to be remembered and cherished for ever.

Lex: What the hell are you blabbering about, you stupid, old, torn rabbit?

Onyx: THREETHOUSANDTHREEHUNDREDANDSEVENTYONE WORDS.

Lex: … lyek, 1337?

Onyx: NO! Lyek, THREETHOUSANDTHREEHUNDREDANDSEVENTYONE WORDS.

Lex: Lawl.

Soacra-Mea: Cherish, cherish… (Oh baby I) cherish the joy- PLAF!

Lex: That song is inappropriate for an old rabbit like you!!

Onyx: -holds bare foot- Next time find something else to throw at him other than one of my cow slippers.


	5. Flat On My Face

Lex: Wait, cow slippers?

Onyx: Yeah, they have a picture of a cow on them. Heheh… moo.

Lex: DANCE COW DANCE! XD

Soacra-Mea: …? –secretly plans to murder the cow slippers which got all of the girls' attention-

**BTW time.**

I'm not able to write in **past time** anymore. I hurt allover when I do that, so I think I'm gonna resort to **present**.

I'm gonna resort to a different spelling of my name (however my name is pronounced the same), so it would be more _appealing _to the foreigners. Lex's idea **¬¬. **(Lex: Hey!)

Yay I got **four **reviews. I never got this much reviews in my whole life on a single story. XD But still, if ya want more, review plz. I hate, I mean really _hate_ people who visit, alert, fav and _don't leave a review. _C'mon guys, it's not fair.

Still, I'm kinda happy. Oh and, this is my **best** (and interesting) chapter yet. Hope u likey.

* * *

Recap:

_Naruto and Oanna make their way downstairs, but don't even reach the first floor when they hear a scream._

* * *

**Oanna's P.O.V.**

I freeze in my tracks. Naruto bumps into me, not expecting this sudden halt, and we would have gone tumbling down the stairs if I hadn't caught the balustrade. I run up the stairs and back to the 'laundry' room, as Lex and I like to call it. I burst through the door expecting to see some sort of green, gelatinous, huge ass monster attempting to eat Lex, but I come face to face with a mountain of clean sheets, which I believe Lex intended to move out. The sheets all topple over me, and I fall to the ground, buried under a mass of whiteness.

Naruto runs to the door, almost stepping over me. He notices my green hair (_Lex: Wait a minute. What are you doing? Onyx: Shut up, I'm not doing anything wrong! Lex: You don't have green hair! Onyx: So? It's not like it alters the story. I always wanted green hair, and you know it. *3* If I can't have it in reality, I can at least resort to fiction! Lex: Wha? You hypocrite, gimme the keyboard-afhajkwbefcnbwejfajdbwekfakdj_) poking out through the white, impossibly _clean _sheets and pulls me out, dirtying some sheets in the process. I compose myself, trying not to trip over the sheets, and look into the room.

Well, it's… undoubtedly, _not _what I expected.

* * *

**Still Oanna's P.O.V.  
**(I just felt like adding teh line. Sue me.)

I'm standing in the doorway, looking perplexed towards the wardrobe. Geez! I'm becoming slower and slower; I think I've been more baffled today than I've been in my whole life; something must be wrong with me. Or maybe my brain has succumbed to death from too much pressure. That's why I don't usually think. When I consider a situation unimportant, I don't bother to think. I don't give a shit if I appear as an idiot; I want to keep my brain alive, thank you.

However, _this _situation demands thinking; and I've thought too much today, I can't keep up with it.

You have probably guessed it by now. Right, the main source of my distress is _**Deidara**_. He's right there, sprawled on the floor. I think he came out of the washing machine, since the poor rusty thing is shredded and blasted to bits. I don't bother to regard him as a cosplayer; I already know he's the _real _one. Geez, I think right now I can believe almost anything ya'll throw at me, well except a smiling Sasuke.

As if on cue, Sasuke came out of the washing machine. _Smiling._

* * *

**Lex's P.O.V.**

I close my mouth, which was previously hanging open in awe, causing me to salivate, and I'd rather not turn into a dog, thank you. So, _Deidara_ came out of the washing machine. That's okay, I'm getting used to this type of visits. At least he didn't come out of the freakin` _wardrobe._ That would have knocked me off my feet, and in a bad way.

I cough; I know that wasn't the right thing to do, 'cos now everyone is looking at me like I have an allergy or something. But it's habitual for me to make an awkward situation even more awkward. I look at Oanna first. Poor thing, her brain has overcooked yet again. Then at Naruto; he looks like he was hit by I truck. I understand him; Deidara's from Akatsuki, after all, and Naruto always thought he's dead. Lastly, I look at Deidara…

Dude, ISN'T HE PREEEEETTY?!?!!!!

I stare at Deidara with my jaw dropped, amazed by his prettiness… Until a smiling Sasuke decides to ruin my awe-induced state. Damn him.

* * *

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

So, um, yeah. This is getting annoying, really. Why can't anyone here acknowledge my pain? Heck, the girls make it even worse!! C'mon, you gotta put yourself in my place.

So, I come into this _unnatural _world because of god knows what witchcraft (or maybe Kakashi's stupid Mangekyou), and then these deranged humans (I bet they're not even human) find me, take me to their home, make me stay here almost _against my will_, and now Akatsuki comes into the picture.

**Dang it all.**

Lex and Oanna don't seem very vexed with the Akatsuki's arrival. Shocked, yes, but not irritated. Lex is actually stared at the blond guy like he's some sort of divinity. _I thought I was the divinity in this house, darn it!_ I keep myself from huffing; that would surely get things going, and I'm comfortable with the hypnosis put on the three persons in front of me.

I'm on the verge of turning on my heels to leave, but another person comes tumbling out from the washing machine. Well… _now _I understand how the girls felt when they first saw me. My eyes widen, pupils dilate, and I discover I can't move at all. Because of all people,_ Sasuke_ has just come out of the washing machine.

Not only that, but when his eyes met mine, the bastard had the nerve to _smile._

* * *

**Mary's P.O.V.**

"Humm, dee hmmm… I feel like a monster…" I'm humming my new favorite song, while preparing the table in the kitchen for four persons. Okay, I know I tend to exaggerate a bit. I mean, who the hell eats pizza at the _table_ nowadays? With the _tableware_?! Argh, whatever. I've finished the pleasant chat with the pizza boy a bit earlier, and I have nothing to do right now.

I don't dare to go upstairs and get some chores shoved in my face by Lex, like _cleaning a bathroom_ or something like that. I cringe; I certainly don't like cleaning. And I'm not _spoiled_, urgh! Who says Oanna's the only one who has the right to be lazy?! … You guys are mean, seriously.

URGH, AN ANT!! SOMEBODY BURN IT RIGHT NOW!!

…

What? I just don't like bugs. Oanna acts like that too, so don't come laughing at my face.

I freeze for a moment, because I've just heard a scream coming from upstairs. Judging by the tone, it was Lex's voice. It wasn't low like Oanna's or, err, disturbing like Naruto's. Well, Lex doesn't randomly scream like that… Hum, whatever, the guys will probably take care of it.

I skip happily towards the living room, only to fall flat on my face, because I've just tripped on an abandoned sandwich, which looks like it has been laying here for… months. I get up, groaning and cursing the sandwich, the possibility of taking it and throwing it away not even present in my head. Erm… yeah.

… Man, something's not right upstairs, I can feel it. I can't hear any sounds, which is unthinkable, because I could bet that a pillow fight would emerge. I don't get what Oanna and Lex do with so many sheets and pillows stacked up there; they are probably playing ghost at night. How un-scary.

I climb up the stairs, ready to check up on my favorite victims. Did I mention I'm a vampire? Me likey my fangs. Yep, me do.

WHOOSH! I trip, and tumble down the stairs, landing… yep, you guessed it, flat on my face. I was probably lost in my thoughts, and that caused me to trip. I'm not _that _stupid, you know… I SAID I'M NOT!!!

Who the hell am I arguing with anyway?

… Me not stupid. T_T

Okay, so I managed to climb all the way up to the second level. Now what? … Ah, right. I have to save the day, yay me.

* * *

**Normal P.O.V.**

They stay in silence, each waiting for the other to do, or say, or at least move something. Like a face muscle, for example. That's a start.

Oanna's face resembles pain, because there's nothing on this world she hates more than silence. Okay, there is. I mean, who the hell likes liver with onions?!

Lex is somewhere between awed and pissed. Now, you guess why and at who.

Naruto is… well, he looks like he could murder someone. Naruto, we understand you, but murdering someone right now isn't the best idea. Well… unless you murder Sasuke. That would do us all a favor.

Suddenly, a chubby figure bursts into the room, throwing the door against the wall with immense force. The blonde skips in happily, not noticing the tension at first. However, she trips over a pillow, even though it's kinda impossible to trip over a _pillow_, and falls flat on her face. She lands right in front of Deidara, fanning the blond's long hair away from his face.

Magical dots, three at number, appear above everybody's head. However, Mary gets up like nothing ever happened (we guess she's used to take that kind of hits), and halts abruptly when she notices Deidara.

"… DEIDARA! O,O"

Mary's eyes turn into saucers, but she regains her composure when a thought strikes her. She quickly runs up to Deidara, yanking one of his hands in an almost brutal manner, earning a scowl from the blond, but she doesn't seem to care. She brings it very, _very _close to her face, and a tongue emerges from Deidara's palm, almost touching Mary's nose… She _giggles_.

"… DEIDARA! OwO"

She immediately jumps up and… yep, pulls him into a bear hug. Naruto audibly winces, remembering the hug he earned earlier from the buxom girl.

A gasp echoes through the room, and Mary releases Deidara (luckily for him), turning back to see who just dared to interrupt her bonding moment. Her eyes scan the room, squinting at Lex and Oanna in particular, and after that her eyes lock onto Sasuke, widening.

"… SASUKE! O,O … Wait, _Sasuke_?"

Oh, _shit._

* * *

Finished chapter FIVE. Yay me.

BTW, the song Maria is humming is 'Monster' by Skillet. (The only song I like from Skillet, yay.)

Now, place your bets! What do you think:

1. Does Mary completely abhor Sasuke?

or

2. Does she have an intense, everlasting love for him?

Lex: BTW, How long are you going to go on with this?

Onyx: It was _your _idea, idiot. So dunno, you decide.

Lex: Can we have Mr. Mackey come it?

Onyx: Nope, 'cos this is a normal story, not a crossover, mmkay?

Lex: Can't you just change that? ,

Onyx: Oh look! MJ is NOT dead!

Lex: WHA?!?!?!?! WTF SHOW ME THAT RIGHT NOW FLINj dnFHN IOJKnfvjs samdala;c;./.

_-connection interrupted-_


	6. Nazis, Lolitas And The Pizza Boy

Onyx: Sorry for making you wait, but every time I opened Microsoft Word to write it came to me that I made it to chapter 6. I mean, like, CHAPTER SIX people! Chapter six… -psychotic-

Lex: … Yeah.

Soacra-Mea: -opens his mouth to say something-

Lex: -turns around- YOU!

Soacra-Mea: -disappears in a POOF-

Lex: -hysterics-

* * *

Recap:

_A gasp__ echoes__ through the room, and Mary releases Deidara (luckily for him), turning back to see who just dared to interrupt her bonding moment. Her eyes scan the room, squinting at Lex and Oanna in particular, and after that her eyes lock onto Sasuke, widening._

"… _SASUKE! O,O … Wait, __Sasuke__?"_

* * *

**Lex and Oanna P.O.V.  
**(they think about the same thing)

Oh please, _no_.

This is not happening. Why now, and why here?! WHY? Okay, calm down. Inhale, exhale. What's the big deal, you ask? Well, that's simple. A murder is about to be committed in my house.

* * *

**Mary's P.O.V.**

"…Wait, _Sasuke_?" I yell, suddenly seeing red before my eyes. Hatred washes through me, and I have a feeling blood is going to be spilled. I look at my two friends and they look like they feel the same. I charge at Sasuke, and… I stop abruptly.

I look at him dumbfounded, because he's sitting there looking just as dumbfounded as me. I expected him to at least narrow his eyes or something! But noooo, he _has_ to be sitting there like he doesn't have a clue and make me stop my attack. '_That's not cool at all. Wait, ahahahah!' _I start laughing in his face, already knowing he won't snap at me for doing so. And that's exactly what I find so funny.

Imagine Sasuke sitting on the floor with a '?' plastered all over his face, his hair and clothes in disarray and looking totally harmless. Dude, he looks like he has just been raped or something.

I place a hand over my mouth to stop myself from guffawing like crazy. This couldn't get any funnier. I abandon my plan of murdering Sasuke, starting on a new one instead. A plan consisting of how to dress Sasuke like a Lolita. With all the ribbons and laces 'n stuff. Yea that'd be cool.

I rush out, and head straight to my car.

* * *

**Lex's P.O.V.**

Oookay. So.

Let's see. Deidara came out of the washing machine. Then _Sasuke _came out of it, and then Mary glomped Deidara without getting killed, yelled at Sasuke, _didn't_ kill him (wow) and ran out of the house.

Um, yeah.

Better start explaining as soon as I can so blood doesn't get spilled. I start my speech, saying everything as fast as I can.

"So Deidara, you may not have a clue of what's happening but we do because you see, Naruto came here before you and that's because you guys have been teleported here but we don't know why, all we know is that this is for you an alternate universe and yes I know it's hard to believe and also please don't kill anyone, we should all make peace and be friendly with each other if you guys want to survive. Same with you, Sasuke." I take a deep breath, sweat forming on my forehead. "Oh and, Deidara, please don't kill Naruto right now. You'll have plenty of time to do that after you _leave _this universe."

They don't seem very convinced. At least Deidara doesn't, 'cos Sasuke's just sitting there looking out of place.

"… Please?" I add, putting on the kicked puppy look. I know it ain't gonna fool anyone, but still it's worth a try.

Deidara sighs and slumps his shoulders in defeat. "Urgh, it's okay I guess." _Wow, I didn't expect him to give up so soon._

I turn to Naruto, high fiving him, and then to Sasuke, a questioning look appearing on my face. He just looks up at me, and cracks a small, clueless smile. _Cute! _Ahem. I look back to Naruto with my dear three dots over my head. His dots appear too. Yay, I love this body language that we share!

… That sounded wrong.

I look at Oanna, making sure that she can notice my dots, and in response the corners of her mouth drop extremely low and her eyebrows raise, making me laugh. She looks like a dead fish who has been scared out of its skull.

Oanna shoos Deidara out of the room, telling him to go look for Mary, ignoring his protests which contain words like 'not me' and 'crazy bimbo'. I laugh; it would have been funny if Mary heard that.

Time to talk to Sasuke. I focus all my attention of him, trying to understand the state he is in. Is he amnesic or something? He certainly looks like it. "I, um…" I stutter, not really knowing what to say. My eyes dart to Oanna, and she shrugs.

"So, uh, what's your name?" I lamely ask Sasuke, and to my surprise he just shrugs and beams at me. I snicker at his expression; that's something you don't get to see every day. Even Naruto looks amused.

"Do you know where you are?" He shrugs, as expected. I blink, a large smile forming on my face.

"Would you like some candy?" Oanna asks, grinning, and I guffaw loudly. "Your hair is ugly." I state proudly, laughing. We both continue making remarks at him, getting blinks, smiles and shrugs in response.

Deidara enters the room, obviously horrified. "Your house is a disaster." He says, his lips curling in disgust.

"Princess." I mutter, hoping he didn't hear me.

"What?!" He yells, enraged.

"Noooothing."

"I'm hungry." For the first time in that day Sasuke decided to speak. I immediately whirl around, staring disbelievingly at him. _His voice is sexy. _No, wait! What did I just think about?! "Then go eat." I say quickly, trying to erase the previous thoughts from my head. I'm supposed to be Itachi's fangirl! _Man this is screwed up. _I start slapping myself.

"…" He stares at me. Damn, he has dots too. Unfair.

"Urgh, I mean…"

Suddenly Mary barges into the room, carrying a bag filled with random clothes. I can make out some laces and ribbons similar to the loli fashion style. I wouldn't wear that, but it would look pretty on the guys. A mischievous grin stretches on my face.

It seems like Mary is thinking the same thing, because she heads straight to Sasuke and starts picking at his hair, trying to tie it with some pink ribbons. He struggles a bit, looking startled, but then Mary starts playing with his hair to calm him down. Sensing no threat, he lets her do her job, completely unaware of Mary's evil plans.

We all laugh and go downstairs to grab something to eat. As if on cue, the doorbell rings and I rush to the door to open it and find an obviously scared pizza boy standing there. I guess this is the guy who had his life threatened by Mary. I grin like a psycho at him, and in the moment I give him the cash he bolts out the door, scared for life. I laugh and go back to the living room giving everyone a box.

"Go and get some napkins." Oanna tells me and I head to the kitchen, finding a stack on the table. I hear laughing coming from the living room. I hurry back to find Oanna laughing and Naruto and Deidara with funny looks plastered on their faces.

"What's the problem?"

"Ask them." Oanna says, and I look at the guys, confused.

"Is this poisoned?" Naruto asks cautiously. I laugh, "You have never eaten pizza before, have you?" I snicker.

"How the hell do you eat this, anyway?" Deidara asks, annoyed.

"With your _hand_, ma'am." I say, and Oanna cackles loudly. Naruto snickers a bit, but then Deidara throws us all a deadly glare and we shut up.

After some time Mary enters the room proudly, a loli-clad Sasuke trotting behind her with a confused look on his face. I fall out of my egg-shaped chair, with pizza all over me, and roll on the floor laughing, clutching my sides. Pepperoni got stuck in my hair but I couldn't care less.

Oanna throws her pizza box aside, all of it landing in Deidara's face, and gets up to retrieve her camera from a backpack in the hall. She comes back, camera in hand, and starts taking various pictures. I push Naruto and Deidara up and throw them towards Sasuke, so Oanna can get a picture with all of us. Pizza is laying forgotten all over the room, some of it in my and Deidara's hair.

"Whoops, battery depleted. Damn." Oanna says, disappointed.

Sasuke escapes from Mary's clutch and starts taking the ribbons out of his hair, obviously horrified by our actions. He then starts taking the loli clothes off and Oanna clamps a hand over my eyes to keep me from seeing an almost naked Sasuke. Hey, not fair! I let out a surprised squeak and start fighting her hand off.

"Hey, I'm fourteen already!" I say angrily.

In response she gives me a look as if saying "Why do you want to see him naked so much?" and I avoid her eyes, finding the distorted pizza at my feet very interesting. I mean, it's not my fault he grew up and became quite hot, so give me a break! But I'd never admit that. Oanna notices my internal battle and gives me a sly look. I roll my eyes in return.

"You had the same reaction when you saw the waterfall scene in the 'Bonds' movie, so shut up." I whisper to her.

"Do you see me ogling?" She raises her eyebrow, smirking amusedly at me.

"Well now of course you aren't, but I'm going to catch you eventually." I say mischievously, narrowing my eyes at her.

She shrugs. "Whatever; I'm straight." She says, grinning, and leers openly at the now boxers-clad Sasuke to prove her point. He gives us both a confused look, Deidara seems bored and Naruto is enraged, sputtering things about how Sasuke is always getting all the girls. "Don't worry, I still love you." Mary says, patting Naruto's arm, and he cracks an awkward (and a bit scared) smile.

"And I love yooou!" I say, clutching Deidara's arm and snuggling into his side. "B'cosh ure preeeetty." Deidara's face now resembles Willy Wonka when Violet hugs him at the beginning of the movie, and I laugh at him.

Everybody looks expectantly at Oanna, especially Sasuke, who looks dejected since it seems like nobody loves him anymore.

"I, uhh… I love Soacra-Mea." She says, and retrieves a plush yellow bunny from the couch, gripping it so hard the poor thing almost ripped. Wait, poor? This is Soacra-Mea we're talking about! I roar, and charge at Oanna and her annoying yellow bunny which pisses me off. I grab it from her and was about to rip it to shreds if she didn't grab it back, hugging it protectively.

"Really, why do you like that rag doll so much?" I say, rubbing my temples.

"Why do _you_ hate it so much? It's not like the bunny's alive." Oanna say amused.

"Cos Lex's a big bad Nazi, that's why." Mary points out off-handedly.

I can feel myself turning red with rage and I whirl around to come face-to-face with Mary. "Don't ever say that again." I say with a bit more venom than I intended.

Mary narrows her eyes. "Dude, you look like an emotionally-scared psycho who lost her family or something." She says a bit peeved.

"Ladies, no need to fight." Naruto says, trying to get us to calm down. We become silent; Mary lets out a huff and I nod, as if saying that there's no need to continue this fight.

We stay in awkward silence, as if waiting for something to happen. It had worked every time before. Well, seems like silence works right now too, because a tumble is heard from upstairs.

Don't tell me someone _else _had come out of the washing machine.

* * *

Onyx: 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory' is property of Roald Dahl/Tim Burton. Go watch the movie if you don't wanna read the book. They're both epic. -hearts- Oh, and **Soacra-Mea is jewish, because I have bought him from Israel. **Hope that explains everything.

Mary: -barfs at the thought of a naked Sasuke- You traitor! -points to Lex- What about Itachi? You're supposed to hate Sasuke, damnit.

Lex: Well, beside the face lines, they pretty much look the same. -coy smile-

Mary: -keeps barfing-

Lex: Oanna, some help?!

Onyx: Uhh... people, we're not really Sasuke fangirls. Okay, he's one hot piece of meat in Shippuuden, but his attitude sucks balls. So, **IDK who should make his/her entrance next**. You decide.

Lex: Me?

Onyx: No.

Soacra-Mea: ME? –sparkles-

Onyx: NO. The readers. Also, **Str4wbewy**, you guessed right. Congratz! If you have a character you would like me to add into the story, please say so. Here's a… cupcake. I don't like cookies. Cupcakes are more tasty and pretty and colorful… Yay.

Lex: Yay!

Soacra-Mea: Yay!

Lex: -death glare-

Onyx: … Yeah. So ppl. IDK when the next chapter is coming out, because I have made some plans for a SasuNaru oneshot. Keep an eye on it if you like SasuNaru. It also contains Sakura bashing, yay!

Lex: Yay!

Soacra-Mea: Ya--- -is hit by Lex-

Onyx: -heartbroken-


End file.
